Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Waiting and Trusting

*Don't worry about anything; instead pray about everything.
Philippians 4:6 NLT

*The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Deuteronomy 31:8 NIV

What are you waiting for??
We wait for everything. For the dryer to finish. For our husbands to get home. For the phone to ring. For the baby to wake. For the mail to come. For a car to pull up, returning our child safely home. For a job. FOR ANSWERS TO PRAYER.
With so much experience, we're remarkably unskilled at waiting well. Waiting seems to us a colossal waste of time.
But the fact is that while we are waiting, God is working. To move us where he wants u
s to be. To readjust the lives of others so that his ultimate desires will be fulfilled. To bring about what will make us eventually Christlike, though not necessarily immediately comfortable.
What are you waiting for? And more to the point, how well are you waiting for it?

Our family has been waiting...waiting for news, waiting for answers to prayer. As many of you know our youngest, baby Mac, as he is affectionately called, has had a rough start to life. He was born a normal size but never took off growing as he should. He has been in and out of the hospital since birth with no real solutions. At 8 months old Mac weighed a mere 11 lbs (soaking wet) and was only 23 " long. He has had every test under the book done and even has been placed on a feeding tube several times with no avail. As a m
other, I felt like a failure, so alone...as a family, we worried and prayed and worried and prayed and worried and prayed. We faced questions everywhere we went. How old is he? Why is he so small? Why is his head so little? What are you feeding him? Why doesn't he grow? Why can't the doctors find out what is wrong? All I could say when people asked was, "I wish we knew". The thing was we didn't really know what else to do. He had been on every formula available, he had a stomach biopsy, he had blood tests, he had swallow tests...all resulting in nothing. We were at our wits end. We were eventually told he had Russell Silver Syndrome, which is one of 200 forms of dwarfism. He has some of the major characteristics of this syndrome but not all, so even this diagnosis wasn't a "real" answer for us.
Well with a turn of events to long to discuss, we decided to get second and third opinions on some of the test results.

Well I am happy to report that as of last Friday we have figured out ONE of the reasons for his poor growth. MacGuire's body lacks carnitine. His body has no stored reserves for energy if he goes longer than 4 hours without eating. A normal body has stored reserves, MacGuire's body was eating his own fat reserves, resulting in little to n
o growth. He is now taking a carnitine supplement twice a day, along with several other daily medications and starting to make some good progress. What is amazing to me is God's timing in all this. I have met some incredible people through all the hospital stays and faithful friends who led us to the new doctor that I affectionately call "amazing"!!

MacGuire still has a lot of "catch up growth" to do and dwarfism has not been completely ruled out. We also know that he has a "mild" case of Cerebral Palsy. He will need the help of braces for weak and floppy muscles in his legs. He continues to take physical therapy, occupational therapy and speech therapy, but we are waiting and trusting to see the plans that God has for MacGuire. Our sweet baby Mac will soon turn 1 year old. It is amazing to see how far God has brought him and we anxiously await his progress each day.

One of the greatest joys I have experienced in life is being a mother. Everyday brings new things at our house but it is with anticipation that I wake up in the morning...what will the day hold.
In talking about waiting and trusting I thought I would include the struggle to wait for our new baby that God has blessed us with. Even though our little guy is half way across the world we have a connection to him. He became ours instantly. I tell the kids that he needs to feel our love so we are preparing ourselves for his arrival. We pray for him daily and pray that he feels the love we have for him. We are making picture books for him of our family and hope to send them to him along with formula and supplies as soon as we receive the okay. The kids often refer to Moise as their brother and I frequently hear them talking about what they will do together when he arrives. The wait seems long some days and can become overwhelming. Many days I tell John, "Let's just jump on a plane and go get him NOW". It's very hard to have a piece of your heart that far away.

I am learning that waiting can be hard and still yet, trusting can be harder. I am reminded daily that we must pray with a willingness to wait and wait with a willingness to pray. Waiting and praying go together, they work as a team!! Teach me Lord to wait!

*But those who wait on the Lord, will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not grow faint. Isaiah 40:31 NIV

1 comment:

  1. You and your family have been soaring all along, you just didn't know it! You were too busy with all the busyness of your children and the worries of Macquire to notice. Now that you have some "answers" (SOME answers) you may be able to notice how you have been soaring.
    I have seen you soar. Jerry has seen you soar. There are families that have things just all in place all the time and never seem to have any challenges at all. Well, all I can say is, "How dull are their lives?" Yes, I realize you would like a few less days of excitment and more dullness, but right now, this is your path. Wait upon your Lord, my dear, Amanda.
    Some of us who have had some "challenges" lately, can take over and we will have your back. Never fear! We will pray for you and yours forever, if that is how long it takes. Don't we have forever? This world is not our final destination. This is not why we are here. We are here just for a while. It "seems" long and oh, so hard, but looking back on my life, this is really a vapor.
    Let's enjoy the ride together. Let's take this journey with our Lord and just see what He has in store for us! D. Mills